Personality type
I've had several conversations of late regarding my post on sports and family life. One quite interesting chat included the thoughts of a mom who dismissed my writing with a quick "she must be a Choleric".
So first, for those who are not familiar with the term, Choleric is in reference to the 4 general personality Temperaments: Choleric, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Melancholic. There are a great many resources to determine what your temperament may be, but my dog-eared copy of this book, purchased many years ago has been a trusted resource for parenting, relation with my children, spouse, and to advance my own personal self growth. For those in the business world, the more familiar would be personality typing; Myers-Briggs, Type A/B, Hartman Personality Profile, and DISC profile are a few of the most popular tests business and leadership schools utilize to study Leadership Style or employee productivity.
I've been fortunate enough in my life to have taken several different tests sponsored by my (at each time) workplace. As a young married working at our local bank before filling my household with boys, taking the Myers-Briggs was part of Team Development. It was meant to assist our managers and employees for a well-rounded branch of the bank in each town, filling the branch with a healthy mix of mingling personalities.
When I stayed home with the boys, I found the Temperament God Gave You and studied both it and several other books that dealt with the Temperaments for benefit of our household. Once I ventured back into the outside work environment, I went through a year-long Leadership course (of which I HIGHLY recommend) and took another in-depth test; memorable for interaction following the results. Finally, we round up the group with a class I took at a conference that put the personalities in categories of color.
All that is a long way of saying I've had my fair share of evaluating my innermost ideals, traits, and bias. No matter the agent or form, it seems the results continue the same: I am a crazy mix of everything. It doesn't matter how many tests I take (even the silly online ones that Facebook generates) the answer remains: you can't pin me down to one color, one temperament, one letter because I am balanced (Or completely off-balance).
I mentioned earlier that my Leadership profile was so memorable because of the interaction that ensued: Part of the features of this particular test was a diagram of the end result - this was supposed to aid in the telling of where the bulk of your traits generate and, even if you touched all four categories in leadership styles (I seem to recall Monkey, Hawk, Giraffe, and one other animal....) you would lean toward one. Well, when I was finished diagramming, I looked at the beautiful diamond I just drew. Not the kind of diamond that you wear, but the kind a kid draws in 2nd grade Math class, equal on every side. I did a second check over everything while waiting for the instructor to come around and help me sort it all out. When she looked she said "Oh, you must have done something wrong." I explained that I didn't; after she took my results and drew them herself, she paused, looked over at me, and said (In what I would describe as disbelief and a little chuckle of "I'm pretty sure this lady is crazy") "I've never seen that before. That's not supposed to happen."
[Incidentally, I had lunch with a dear friend last week and we were discussing this topic. After I told her I was a mix of all 4, some days Sanguine will get the 1 extra score, some days Melancholic, she said "Maybe you have the best parts from all 4!" ..... and we laughed and laughed.
She is a delightful woman and no less clear-eyed than I am; we both knew that is impossible as we are a fallen people working our way to Redemption. ]
So there you have it. I may be an anomaly, but I cannot be accused of believing something because it's in my "Temperament".
I stand by my statements that kids should not be the center of their families world, that the good of the family always trumps the want of the one - if a child's sporting (band, dance, etc) activity interferes with family dinner, then the activity goes (that is, up to High School). If I am running myself ragged to keep my kid in T-ball because 'one day it will matter when he has a chance to play Varsity Baseball and it might get him a scholarship to pay for College, but then he may even have a chance to go pro and my kid could be a star; also, I didn't get a chance when I was a kid because my parents didn't want to take the time to nurture my talents and if they only did, I might have played in College, and you have to start them young anyway to get their body trained to be instinctive plus that's where all my friends are and, hey, we LOVE baseball.'
Rubbish.
I've heard it all. Every single line I just wrote (so, so badly because that's how it sounds to me and I wanted to portray it accurately in its absurdity) I have heard over and over again. Especially to the point where my peers are truly convinced that they LOVE whichever sport his or her child is in.
Yet, I see these parents rushing from work to the field, zipping from the drive through to the bleachers; tossing out money to the siblings for dinner at the concession stand. There is no happiness or contentment there; it is absolutely insane.
No 'thing' or activity can have a value when held against the Light of the Family. Look around at the world and we all can agree it is bad; very, very bad with the breakdown of the family at the core. and If you've ever read the Screwtape letters, you know how strongly Wormwood is at work.
If God is not your center, then whatever is at your center is your God, plain and simple. One can claim God is at the center while running around ragged with family spread in 5 different directions, thereby negating the claim with truth in action. Damage is done to parent/child relation, damage is done to spousal relation and damage is done to sibling relations.
This is time you won't get back, folks.
Luckily, there is Hope and each day, specifically each Confession, brings the soul back to created state, clean and unblemished. Then, through prayer and sacrifice, the scales begin to fall and the Treadmill stops. I don't say it is easy - google funny videos of treadmills suddenly stopping on persons. Laugh. Now look at it with clear eyes and see that once the treadmill stops, nothing is the same. One has to learn how to even stand still all over again.
I pray you learn how to stand still.
So first, for those who are not familiar with the term, Choleric is in reference to the 4 general personality Temperaments: Choleric, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Melancholic. There are a great many resources to determine what your temperament may be, but my dog-eared copy of this book, purchased many years ago has been a trusted resource for parenting, relation with my children, spouse, and to advance my own personal self growth. For those in the business world, the more familiar would be personality typing; Myers-Briggs, Type A/B, Hartman Personality Profile, and DISC profile are a few of the most popular tests business and leadership schools utilize to study Leadership Style or employee productivity.
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| I totally miss the Far Side cartoons :( |
I've been fortunate enough in my life to have taken several different tests sponsored by my (at each time) workplace. As a young married working at our local bank before filling my household with boys, taking the Myers-Briggs was part of Team Development. It was meant to assist our managers and employees for a well-rounded branch of the bank in each town, filling the branch with a healthy mix of mingling personalities.
When I stayed home with the boys, I found the Temperament God Gave You and studied both it and several other books that dealt with the Temperaments for benefit of our household. Once I ventured back into the outside work environment, I went through a year-long Leadership course (of which I HIGHLY recommend) and took another in-depth test; memorable for interaction following the results. Finally, we round up the group with a class I took at a conference that put the personalities in categories of color.
All that is a long way of saying I've had my fair share of evaluating my innermost ideals, traits, and bias. No matter the agent or form, it seems the results continue the same: I am a crazy mix of everything. It doesn't matter how many tests I take (even the silly online ones that Facebook generates) the answer remains: you can't pin me down to one color, one temperament, one letter because I am balanced (Or completely off-balance).
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| My most recent test |
[Incidentally, I had lunch with a dear friend last week and we were discussing this topic. After I told her I was a mix of all 4, some days Sanguine will get the 1 extra score, some days Melancholic, she said "Maybe you have the best parts from all 4!" ..... and we laughed and laughed.
She is a delightful woman and no less clear-eyed than I am; we both knew that is impossible as we are a fallen people working our way to Redemption. ]
So there you have it. I may be an anomaly, but I cannot be accused of believing something because it's in my "Temperament".
I stand by my statements that kids should not be the center of their families world, that the good of the family always trumps the want of the one - if a child's sporting (band, dance, etc) activity interferes with family dinner, then the activity goes (that is, up to High School). If I am running myself ragged to keep my kid in T-ball because 'one day it will matter when he has a chance to play Varsity Baseball and it might get him a scholarship to pay for College, but then he may even have a chance to go pro and my kid could be a star; also, I didn't get a chance when I was a kid because my parents didn't want to take the time to nurture my talents and if they only did, I might have played in College, and you have to start them young anyway to get their body trained to be instinctive plus that's where all my friends are and, hey, we LOVE baseball.'
Rubbish.
I've heard it all. Every single line I just wrote (so, so badly because that's how it sounds to me and I wanted to portray it accurately in its absurdity) I have heard over and over again. Especially to the point where my peers are truly convinced that they LOVE whichever sport his or her child is in.
Yet, I see these parents rushing from work to the field, zipping from the drive through to the bleachers; tossing out money to the siblings for dinner at the concession stand. There is no happiness or contentment there; it is absolutely insane.
No 'thing' or activity can have a value when held against the Light of the Family. Look around at the world and we all can agree it is bad; very, very bad with the breakdown of the family at the core. and If you've ever read the Screwtape letters, you know how strongly Wormwood is at work.
If God is not your center, then whatever is at your center is your God, plain and simple. One can claim God is at the center while running around ragged with family spread in 5 different directions, thereby negating the claim with truth in action. Damage is done to parent/child relation, damage is done to spousal relation and damage is done to sibling relations.
This is time you won't get back, folks.
Luckily, there is Hope and each day, specifically each Confession, brings the soul back to created state, clean and unblemished. Then, through prayer and sacrifice, the scales begin to fall and the Treadmill stops. I don't say it is easy - google funny videos of treadmills suddenly stopping on persons. Laugh. Now look at it with clear eyes and see that once the treadmill stops, nothing is the same. One has to learn how to even stand still all over again.
I pray you learn how to stand still.
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